Mrs Doyle:I read a bit of one once, god I couldn't finish it. The language! Unbelievable.
Ted:It's a bit gritty but that's the modern world.
Mrs Doyle:It was a bit much for me Father. Feck this and feck that.
Ted:Yes Mrs Doyle...
Mrs Doyle:Ya big bastard. Oh dreadful language. Ya big hairy arse. Ya big fecker. Fierce stuff. And o'course, the f word Father. The bad f word. Worse than feck. You know the one I mean.
Ted:Yes I do Mrs Doyle!
Mrs Doyle:F you. F your f'ing wife. Oh I don't know why they have to use language like that! I'll stick this f'ing pitchfork up your hole! That was another one! Oh yes!
Ted:I see what you mean Mrs Doyle...
Mrs Doyle:Bastard this and bastard that. You can't move for the bastards in her novels! It's wall to wall bastards!
Ted:Is it Mrs Doyle? Anyway! -yelling over the top of her-
Mrs Doyle:Ya bastard. Ya fecker. Ya bollocks. GET YOUR BOLLOCKS OUT OF MY FACE.
Ted:Yes...you just go and prepare for the nuns! -shuts the kitchen door on her-
Mrs Doyle:Ride me sideways was another one!